ferrousland.com - diary archives
Friday, July 28, 2000
how to be held up - 08:05 PM
today, at work, i was given instructions about what to do if i ever get in a hold up. "how to be successfully & safely held up, in three easy steps .." seriously. this is what you're told to do:
- step back from the register to be in clear view of the baddie, with your arms down & beside your body but hands out & open. stand at an angle to the baddie with your right arm & shoulder toward him (or her, but for my purposes today we'll assume the baddie is a he). this is especially important if the baddie is brandishing a gun, because if he decides to shoot you he won't have a clear shot of your torso, so if you do get hit by a bullet, it's more likely to be in the arm or the right side of the body, away from your heart & major organs. i'll try to remember that if i ever decide to get shot.
- when baddie asks for the money, step up to the cash register & do the secret thing which has to be done to let the appropriate authorities know you are being held up. open the cash register & give the baddie the money. now (i thought this was pretty funny), ask baddie if he would like a bag. "oh, all that money could be rather heavy & unwieldy, would you like a bag for that?" i wonder if the cashiers at mcdonalds have to ask the baddie if they'd like fries with that?
- once baddie has left with the money & totally screwed up your cash register reconciliation, call the police & let them know you've been held up, just in case they didn't get it the first time when you activated the secret bat signal.
easy!
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