ferrousland.com - diary archives
Friday, May 16, 2003
a joy, not a burden - 06:44 PM
why is it that so many well meaning people, when they see my obvious pregnancy, have to force feed me all the heavies of becoming a parent?
i mention sleeping a lot & they say, "enjoy it now, because it's the last you'll get of it." i talk about seeing a movie & they say, "do more of it before you have the baby because you'll never be able to do it again!" we sit amongst other people's badly behaved children & they point out what the kids are doing & say, "you have all this to look forward to." that's one thing that i don't plan on happening, because we sit there & think, "well, our children wouldn't be getting away with that kind of behaviour!"
anything i say, they have to counter with some negative of having children.
yes, i know that children are a big responsibility. i know that having a child is a twenty-four hour a day job, spanning at least twenty years & then some. i know that the baby is going to cry & will need constant attention.
honestly, the way people talk, you wonder why any of them ever had kids in the first place!! if it's such a horrible thing, then why does the population of the earth keep growing?
okay, i've never done this before & i realise it will be a shock to the system, but i'm enjoying myself now, enjoying the (mostly positive) attention, feeling really healthy, & i resent that people seem to want to bring me down.
when strangers i meet on the street (so to speak) tell me these things, i suspect it's because they think i'm still a teenager. they tell me all these things with a prevailing attitude which shines through. they don't have to say it, but it comes out in the way they talk to me that they think my pregnancy must have been an accident & that i'm just one more single teenage mum. they talk about a child as though i'm a young kid wanting a puppy, "it's a big responsibility, you know." maybe i should get a t-shirt made up that says, "i planned this pregnancy & i'm not as young as you think i am so don't hassle me!!"
despite what people seem to be trying to tell me about how our lives will be, my parents' lives weren't over when they had us. they still visited friends & went to parties & the like. i remember going to other people's houses & playing for hours with their friends' children & coming back into the room where all the adults were & marvelling that they were still talking. surely they would have preferred to play a game or something? i remember mum & dad putting my sister & i down to sleep in the main bedroom of whoever's house we were at & when it was time to go they'd pick up our droopy, sleepy bodies & deposit us into the car, then take us home to snuggle up in our own beds. they still had lives. they still enjoyed themselves.
there are a few out there who have been excellent & have told me of all the wonderful things i have to look forward to .. & i am! i'm really looking forward to having this baby. i'm keen to feel the bond that is already developing, grow into something even more special. i can't wait to sit quietly while i breastfeed the baby & stare at the amazing little creature that i've somehow made. i'm looking forward to seeing our child grow big & strong, not just causing me to put on weight & grow bigger, but watch him or her grow out of clothes at a rate of knots. i can't wait to get all teary-eyed on the day that i send our child to school & be so proud of the finger painting they bring home which resembles nothing i've ever seen before, but which i'll put it on the fridge & leave there for weeks.
so please, stop telling me about all the doom & gloom i have to 'look forward to'. if your life has been made miserable by a child, then that's your bad luck, but i'm going to enjoy every sleepless, never-worry-free minute of it.
i don't think people mean to try to make you feel like that.. and i apologise if i have at all. i think from my point of view it's more about trying to help you feel as prepared as possible because having a child is such a huge thing, and there are so many things you never expect.
::hugs::
Ignore the nay-sayers.
Or simply put this on the shirt:
I'm 31
In a huge font. Along the bottom
You'll have such a rich life, and Rudegere the best mum n'dad in the world
Sorry if I've been a bit negative. What I meant to say is that giveing birth is hard...very hard! And that most of the text books are crap! But the reward of holding your new born baby are worth it all. It's what life is all about...Its not about new cars, flash houses & holidays overseas... It's about family and your going to have full one.... Good Luck & God Bless
some folks have miserable lives and want you to join them. filter out the negativity. bratty kids aren't born, they are developed.
Coralie, you sound like a very down to earth kind of person, who leads a very fullfilling life, i'm sure that this won't change once you become a parent and certain that you will pass these qualities on to your children. I guess everyone likes to moan and groan about something, because it gets them sympathy and attention from others. I'm sure parenting is just like everything else in life, its what you make it. If you look at things postively (which you seem to always do!),then i'm sure things will turn out fine, i'm not saying it's going to be a piece of cake, but I know your going to be a very satisfied parent no matter what
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Coralie, there is NO doom and gloom...have your baby and enjoy every precious minute of it babe...My friends had a baby he just turned 1 (he's my God Son) and they just called me 5 minutes ago and asked me to go to the movies with them...we have BBQs and stuff like that all the time...sure things my change but you can still have a lot of fun too, more fun than ever babe *hugs*