ferrousland.com - diary archives
Saturday, November 01, 2003
if babies wrote fiction - 04:47 PM
horror: "the baby lay still, unseeing eyes staring straight ahead, as a single drop of milk ran slowly from the corner of his mouth staining the cloth placed under him."
romance: "he held on with all his might, passion building in his heart, as he pushed his face into the breast. with one hand he clumsily massaged the breast from the other side, trying to get as much milk as he could handle."
mystery/detective: "the nipple was there, but riley had no idea how to find it. this was going to be one tough case, he just knew it."
fan fiction: "buffy fought bravely, delivering a spectacular high-kick to the head of the demon. holding her baby in a sling while she attacked didn't affect her fighting ability in the least. she was the bravest mother of them all."
children's: "he sneezed once, twice, & a third time. a booger flew from his nostril & hit the other baby in the face. they laughed uproariously, waving their arms & legs around in the air for all they were worth."
.. & non-fiction ..
reference/instructional: "finding the breast can sometimes prove difficult. the key to success is perseverance. by throwing your head around as much as possible, the nipple will, eventually, end up in your mouth. the same can be said of trying to fill your nappy: grunt, grunt, & grunt again."
Educational :-
A is for Areole it helps me to aim.
B is for Boobie and Breast, it's the same.
C is for cleavage, the bit in between.
D is for Diaper, you know where that's been.
E is for Extra sleep every night.
F is the word Mum says when I bite.
G is for Gush when I try to burp.
H is for Hell, it's all down my shirt.
I is for me, what more needs be said.
J is for jugs, that's what daddy said.
L is for Lactate, Mum's special job.
M is for Milk squirted into my gob.
N is for Nappy also called diaper.
O is for orifice, as in wiped with a wiper.
P is Pee into sugar basins.
Q is for "Quick, watch out where he's facing.
R is for rest a far distant memory.
T is for titty and also mammary.
U is for Udder, please see above.
V is right in the middle of Love.
W is the wonderful care Mum gives.
X is for excrete..like sieves.
Y is for Yawn, I'm getting quite tired.
Z is for ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Oh yes, I know I forgot the K and the S, but hey, I'm only a few weeks old.
Nitey nitezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
LOL! I especially like the Buffy bit. Now that's an episode I would love to see
K is for kiss that mummy give me.
S is for snuggle that I love with Auntie Melanie
I have a title fot that Romance one "Romance of the ..." Oh shoot. i had it. guess it snuck out before I could pin it down and type it out.
The other day you asked why people visit your site. I think this is a perfect example. Just when you think this is just another online journal of a new mom, you get all creative and cool things happen. You even inspire people in your comment section to greater heights of creativity. Always a pleasure.
gmail
com
LOL