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Friday, December 05, 2003
mum & mum & son - 08:29 AM
riley had his first extended babysitting the other night. i was going to the hen's night of a friend, no place for a baby, & besides, it's difficult to let loose when you're worrying about your baby's welfare.
i was expecting that i would be a brave, worry-free mum right up to the minute that i was about to leave him with his nanna, my mum. everything was sorted, she knew where everything he needed was located, had some freshly expressed milk to give to him, had my mobile number written down in case she needed me or if he wouldn't take the bottle & i had to come back early to feed him.
i'd given him a last feed & he was happy & settled. however, as soon as i bent down to kiss him goodbye, i thought, "my baby boy! i'm going to miss him so much!" after driving off i hadn't even reached the end of the street when i had to resist the urge to call to see if he was okay.
as i drove away i kept thinking of more things i should have told mum, or left with mum, you know, 'just in case'. "damn," i thought, "i forgot to tell her to point his little willie down when she puts on a new nappy." or "maybe i should have left a dummy with her, just in case he won't settle." or "i should have showed her how to use the sling, just in case."
i think i did well. i only spoke to mum three times that night while i was out. i called once after i'd been there for about an hour. i called again about an hour later after one of the ladies there (the mum of the groom) thought she saw my phone ring while it was on the table & i was up having a dance. then i called once more to let mum know i was leaving.
it turned out riley was no trouble at all. in fact, he didn't even wake up the whole time i was out! i hung my clothes outside on a clothes airer & jumped into the shower quickly to wash the smoke smell off me. as i was almost finished, riley woke up & mum brought him into the bathroom to see me. he hadn't even known i was gone, i'm sure. 
i'd expressed 80mls of milk for him earlier in the evening, so i thought i'd try him on the bottle anyway even though we hadn't had much success on previous tries. he took to it like he'd been doing it his whole life! i was so proud of him that i almost cried.
we tried him the next day on some more freshly expressed milk so that mum could have a go at feeding him but he wasn't as keen. we had to give up in the end & give him the boob. i was a bit disappointed at that, because getting him to take the bottle means that shroom & i can go places just the two of us sometimes. not only that, but i want to become an enjo consultant & that will depend on him being able to be left with his grandparents for a number of hours at a time.
i've since tried him again on a couple of occasions & he will take the bottle eventually, but he definitely prefers it straight from the breast. i'm going to try to give him a bottle every few days at least, just to keep him used to having one every now & then.
i'm going to mum's place again this afternoon to stay overnight. there's no reason this time except for the fact that i'd like to visit her & for her to be able to spend some time with riley.
i've been enjoying my visits with mum. i didn't expect to as much as i have. i mean, i love my mum, of course, but we are very opposite in our personalities & we've tended to get on each others nerves fairly quickly in the past. i've always been closer to dad than i have to mum, although i could never say that one put in any less effort than the other one. i feel that both my mum & dad gave me excellent role models as parents & did their absolute best bringing me up to be a good & honest adult.
it seems it took a grandbaby to bring mum & i closer together & i don't mind that at all. it's lovely to see her doting on him & enjoying cuddling him & i think she's enjoying seeing me turn into a good mum & enjoying my role as mother. not only that, but we seem to be enjoying each other's company so much more. it's nice. i like it. 
ahhh. real country girl is findng peace in her life. maybe that's what i need; some fresh country air.
That's great that Riley is bringing you closer to your Mum - she must be very proud of how well you're going.
have fun at your mum's..
you know you really don't need to worry about him with her, i mean, she has had two children of her own as well as two previous grandchildren
lol, once Riley takes the bottle Shroom will be able to get up and feed him at night. "your turn" "no, it's your turn" "I did it last night"
Ahh, brings back mamories, umm memories
I just found your diary...over here in a suburb of Chicago, Illinois. (USA)
It is lovely, and a pleasure to read of your trials and tribulations. Good luck
good to hear that you and your moms getting verry well together
That first night of going out and leaving the little one with your Mum or another sitter is quite stressful. Congrats on only making 3 calls! Well done!
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hello Coratie
It lovely to read your diary entry,we are please you are finding it easer to be with your mum.