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Wednesday, October 22, 2003 - (see all news for this day)
nineteen ways to .. - 06:43 PM
(filed under 'general')
something which was forwarded to me today. i've seen it before, but it's a classic & quite amusing & uplifting. it's even a clean joke!
nineteen ways to keep a healthy level of insanity:
- at lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
- page yourself over the intercom - don't disguise your voice.
- every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
- put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- in the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favours".
- finish all your sentence with "in accordance with the prophecy".
- don't use any punctuation.
- as often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- ask people what sex they are. laugh hysterically after they answer.
- specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
- sing along at the opera.
- go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- put mosquito netting around your work area and play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
- five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "rock hard".
- when the money comes out of the atm, scream "i won, i won, i won!! 3rd time this week!!!"
- when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!"
- tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".
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