ferrousland.com - daily news archives
Thursday, March 27, 2008
slightly depressed - 08:19 AM
(filed under 'single mumming')
i've been feeling a little bit down lately. i wouldn't go as far to say that i'm actually suffering from depression, but i think i'm just feeling a bit down because i'm a bit stressed about money.
my income has dropped since shroom isn't working at the moment & it's making a big difference. neither of us are starving (i would always go hungry myself before i let smiley go hungry, even if it did come down to that!), but it's coming down to the wire every week.
my rent is going up soon, too, by an extra $20 a week! i still live in one of the cheapest areas around, but that extra $20 is going to be hard to find. at the time of it going up, that'll be a total of $35 dollars that it's gone up since i moved into this place in november 2006. i am looking into ways i can earn a little bit extra, so hopefully i'll have some income soon.
there are still things that can 'give' financially, if i need more cash in the meantime, but that last thing that can give is what keeps me sane: my crochet. i have a weekly yarn budget so that i can have something to crochet all the time. if it comes down to it, then i'll just not buy any yarn that week, but it's the only 'me' thing i have, so i don't want to give that up.
i avoid looking at my bank balance online because it just makes me feel more down when i see how much money i don't have even before the end of the week.
when smiley's with me, i'm fine—i'm happy & feel like my usual self—but when he goes to visit his nanna & poppy & he's not here, then i miss him like crazy & feel lonely & kind of at a loose end & unmotivated to do much of anything .. except crochet. i still want to do that.
i guess i should keep an eye on it to make sure i don't actually fall into a real depressed state. even if i was depressed, there's no way i would take medication for depression, even if i could afford to pay for it. there are so many awful side effects from that stuff. i've heard too many stories from people who've been on the roller coaster ride of trying to find the 'right' medication for depression.
i've read that exercise is as effective (if not more effective) for treating depression as drugs, so maybe when i feel down i should go & take a walk. since i usually only feel that way when smiley's not here anyway, then i'm perfectly able to take a brisk walk.
i might do that now, actually. i need some more bread, anyway, so now is the perfect time.
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