ferrousland.com - daily news archives
Saturday, April 19, 2008
black sheep - 06:03 PM
(filed under 'general')
you know, i think i've finally figured out that i'm the black sheep of the family. maybe not black. perhaps dark brown, instead. lol! 
i'm talking about what my immediate family think of me. my extended family probably don't think so at all.
here are the reasons that i think they think that way:
- i'm the only one in my family that has (so far) not really ever had an idea of what i want to be when i 'grow up'.
- i've got piercings that they all detest. monica maybe doesn't hate them as much as mum & dad do, but she's definitely not into piercings other than in the ear lobes.
- i'm the only one that doesn't go to church anymore.
- i'm home educating my child.
- i'm still breastfeeding him at 4.5 years old.
- i'm more into being 'green' than any of my family. i'm more of a hippy & into natural living, generally.
- i wear dark colours a lot of the time (mainly because i'm a messy eater & i quickly permanently stain anything that's lighter than brown, black or dark blue).
- i dyed my hair blond hair dark brown at one stage (i'm sure mum & dad thought i was turning into a satanist or something when i did that).
- i've shaved my head twice so far (probably won't again. i've done it now. i'm happy).
- i regularly have hair styles that they all pretty much don't like & think are kind of weird.
- i've never really had what my mum would probably call a 'proper' job (i'm pretty sure monica & dad don't think this way. they're not so stuck in the academic way of thinking as mum is).
- i'm not even close to what you might call 'being a lady'. i'm sure mum desperately hopes that might happen one day, but i hope she's not holding her breath. i know in what situations i have to 'behave'. that's good enough for me.
none of these things are what my family would call inherently wrong (although not going to church anymore would come close. lol!), but with the combination of all of those things i'm sure they think i'm pretty strange.
i guess i turned out very differently to them. i know there's nothing wrong with that & i'm proud of who i am. it bugs me sometimes that i don't feel particularly accepted for it, but over all, i like me & i'm happy that i can still be me even with the mild condemnation, even if they don't mean for that to come across.
amongst all this, i do know my family love me & would do anything for me if i ever needed their help, so don't worry about that. 
it amuses me that it's taken me almost thirty-six years to figure out that i'm the black sheep. hehe. i suppose my one saving grace (in their eyes) is that at least i've never been into sex, drugs & rock & roll. rotfl!!
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