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Saturday, August 01, 2009 - (see all news for this day)
So much going on in the past two weeks - 12:06 PM
So it's been two and a half weeks since I updated ferrousland. Naughty me.
A lot has happened in that time. Some of the happenings, and the repercussions of those happenings, or perhaps more correctly, my reaction to those happenings, has meant no updates for ages.
This is going to be a long entry, so if you're interested, keep reading.
Most of you close to me (and/or those following me on Twitter or friends with me on Facebook) already know much of what life's been throwing at me for the past couple of weeks. Twitter's great for venting, so I've been venting there a lot, instead of talking about it here every second that I went through each new emotion.
The first thing that was causing me to not really want to talk much on ferrousland was that I was having boy trouble. New Boy and I are no longer together. He seemed to be losing interest, and when he told me he wanted some time to himself to think about stuff, I was (correctly, as it turned out) worried. I hate being left out of the loop, and even though I know boys like to go into their 'cave' to think about things, I had to know what was going on. I sort of pushed the issue and we ended up breaking up. It seems that it was going to happen anyway, so I don't regret pushing it. At least I was put out of my misery sooner.
I had a horrible few days where I felt so incredibly lonely. Mind you, I was feeling that way while he wanted to think. Actually, I was feeling a bit that way even before he asked for time to think. The days immediately following the break up, I was incredibly sad about breaking up, but mostly I was concerned that we wouldn't even be able to be friends afterwards.
All's well that ends well, though, and we had a good talk about everything and we are friends. We both agreed that good friends (especially ones that live nearby) are too thin on the ground to let go of.
I'm very pleased that as quickly as our relationship developed into a romantic one, it's now resolved into an easy and comfortable friendship. I tend to process emotional stuff really quickly, but even I was surprised at how fast I managed to get through this and change my mind set. After just three days of feeling sorry for myself, I had a complete mental turn around and I'm even comfortable enough to talk with him about possible future relationships for either of us.
It makes me immeasurably happy to know that the basis of our relationship truly was a friendship.
Since that time, I've been doing lots of 'me' things, such as making my way through the entire four seasons of the new Dr Who, and the first two seasons of Torchwood. Smiley's been watching Dr Who with me and has quite enjoyed it. It's been nice to do something with my little boy that we both enjoyed.
The other thing that went on right about the same time (talk about bad timing!) was that Smiley's dad and I discussed Smiley possibly living with him in the future. I was really sad to think about it, but at the same time, I'm absolutely pleased that he seems to be planning his life based around being near his child. This hasn't been the case in the past three years. I'm not holding my breath about Smiley going to live with him, but if the plans he's spoken of come to fruition, then Smiley living with him is a distinct possibility. It's a possibility that I'm happy with, too, particularly if it means that he'll have a much more active role in Smiley's life.
We spoke quite calmly and amicably about it, and he was open to continuing with the way I've chosen to bring up Smiley so far; i.e. home educating, etc.
The latest drama (as if the past few weeks hasn't been drama enough) has been Smiley's teeth. He has massive cavities. He seems to have missed out on getting my natural resistance to mouth bugs and got his dad's poor teeth, instead. The consensus from two dentists is that the cavities started from our time—when Smiley was about two and a half years old—in Bahrain where they love children and would be 'nice' to them by feeding them a lot of lollies and sugary drinks. When I'd go to a shop with him and refuse to buy him a lolly, the shopkeeper would often just give us the lolly. And they are truly offended if you refuse it. Also, he spent afternoons with our housekeeper, and she would often take him to play with other kids and would be offered more lollies and sweet drinks.
The dentists have said that even strict brushing won't help with that, because the cavities had started between the teeth, where the teeth butt up against each other, and brushing and flossing won't even touch that. The only way to avoid it is to cut out the crap food and drinks.
The cavities developed and became much more advanced over the past few years when I've simply not had the money to pay for the work that's needed to be done. When it comes down to the cent to make sure you can eat for the week, thousands of dollars worth of dental treatment tends to take a back seat.
I had a talk with Adrian about it, though, and we've sorted out something between us so that the work can be done, since the damage is getting serious now.
It's not been as simple as Smiley getting in the dentist chair, though. A year ago, I had one cavity filled, and boy was it a drama! It took so long and was incredibly stressful for everyone involved: Smiley, me, the dentist, the dental nurse. Wow. This time, with Smiley a bit older, it was marginally less stressful, but all we managed to get done was to clean the grot out of one of the cavities (of about five or six present) before Smiley got too stressed out and was ready to walk out of there. From an outsider's point of view, he appeared pretty calm, but to me, I knew he was very stressed about it. We couldn't even get one cavity dealt with. I couldn't imagine doing it all again with five or six of them!
As we couldn't get past the point (several times) of getting the cavity dry and clean, ready for a filling to go in, we stopped and decided the better course of action was to take him to a pediatric dentist and get the work done while he's knocked out under a general anaesthetic. It was stressful for me to decide this, since no one likes to see their kid so defenceless, but when we went to the kid dentist and it took major cajoling to let the new guy just take a look in his mouth without even putting him in the chair, I knew it was the right decision.
Trying to go ahead with the dental work while he's awake—which would have been futile, anyway—would result in him developing a pathological fear of dentists and stressing him out to the max. Not a good thing, either way.
It's going to cost a bucket load more than just doing it at the dentist, what with the added cost of the anaesthesiologist and the hospital, but I know that this is the best thing for my child. After talking with the new dentist, Steve, and seeing him interact with Smiley, I'm also very impressed with the man and happy that John (my dentist) referred this guy. He seems to be right man for the job and someone who does what he does because he enjoys kids and cares about them.
(By the way, if anyone wants to know more about him because they need some dental care for their kids, comment or email me and I'll pass on the details.)
So I guess that's most of the drama that's been going on in the past two and a half weeks. That's more than enough drama for that time frame, thankyouverymuch. That's more drama than I need for a whole year, in fact!
If you made it to the end of this, congratulations; you are either a good friend, very patient, or a sucker for punishment. LOL!
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